Thursday, February 20, 2014

Why, women? Why?

I really do like being a woman. Two important callings in my life revolve around being one. I am a wife to a wonderful husband, who leads our family and points us to Jesus. I am a mother to a beautiful and precious daughter, who daily allows me to be humbled as I experience God's love for me in ways I never did before. I love encouraging other women: moms, non-moms, married, single, hurting, happy, stressed, confused, content...you name it. Women are tough cookies, and I just love how God created us all so very different, yet so similar.

However, there are times when I don't enjoy certain aspects of being a woman. You may or may not agree with me, but I am about to tell you why being a woman is so difficult at times  for me. Are you ready? Ok, here it is.

Being a woman is so hard at times, because women are so hard on each other.

There.I said it.


Why, ladies? Why? Why do we have to be so hard on each other? The true weight of this didn't hit me until I got married and became a mother. Most women state their opinions very clearly and very often, making it at times very difficult for others to even think about doing anything close to the opposite...at least without catching more grief and opinions. Here are just a few examples of typical highly opinionated women topics that I've observed/experienced/endured.

Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding

Public/Private school Education vs. Home Education

Stay at home moms vs. Working moms

Vegan, paleo, gluten free, non GMO, no MSG, organic, grass fed, pasture raised vs. (well, whatever isn't that!)

Cloth diapers vs. Disposable diapers

Vaccinating vs. Not Vaccinating 

to name a few...

These topics are pretty important, and all have to do with some aspect of a child's health. Some of these topics bring moms to tears. Some of them involve easy decisions--some involve tough ones. They can be, "sensitive subjects." I know I've shed some tears over a few of these things. Women often get the urge to impart "wisdom" on these topics to others even when it's unsolicited. Sadly, the offering isn't as problematic as the motive behind it. It's the desire to be heard, respected, valued, validated and sometimes, to be thought of as "super mom." Does she even exist? I'd love to meet her. Let me just say this, I'm guilty of this myself. I am guilty. So, please don't think I'm preaching. Personally, I get irate when I see a women's confidence in her decisions as a mommy eroded because of another women. Come on, girls. We have enough pressure in this world. Do we have to inflict more on each other?

This is one of the reasons I love men. Let me rephrase that. When I say I love men, I mean I love one man...my hubby. I also love my dad, father in law, brother, brother in laws, etc....you get it. That's not the point. However, in general, most men are nothing like us women when it comes to this. They just do their own thing. If you like it, fine. If you don't like it, there's the door. Why can't women be more like that? It's like we have some sort of personal mission to relay our point or why our lifestyle is the best to others so much, that we push it waaaay too much! Honestly, I've never been more offended or hurt than by women...and I live with a pretty blunt man, y'all. 

So, where am I going with all this? What is God teaching me? Well, for starters, He's teaching me to be more like Jesus. 

If you read the New Testament, you'll see many accounts of Jesus walking, talking and just doing life with people. Sure, he delivered a sermon or two. Sure, he knew the Law. However, you don't really ever see any words in red that tell of Jesus saying, "Be just like me. I do this, and I don't do that. If you act like this, then you're really not doing it right." If anything, Jesus led so well by example. He ultimately offered His body as a living sacrifice, and He did it perfectly. Romans 12 tells us to "offer [our] bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing unto God." I think we often forget the "unto God" part. Why? Well, probably because it's a no brainer. Pleasing God and pleasing man are sometimes two different things. When it comes down to living your life, live the life God tells you to live--and let others do the same. Don't think that just because someone doesn't nurse their baby that they're uneducated about the nutrition of their child. It isn't necessarily your place to educate them. Don't think that just because someone chooses home education that they're a strange person who makes their own jeans. (...not that making your own jeans is considered strange). If someone asks for your opinion, then give it to them. You should not make your life platform convincing others to do it your way. Besides, who does that put the spotlight on? You! Focus on your relationship with God, and He will lead you to set an example with your life, just as Jesus did.

I am not preaching. I'm reflecting. I'm talking to myself, and I'm praying that God continues to break my will and make me more like Him.

Am I the only one who has struggled with this?