Having a baby changes everything. When you hear this
overused phrase, you tend to think, “Yeah, I know that.” You realize that your
easy overnight trips, sleeping in til 10am, late night ice cream runs, and all
day errands will change. You realize that it’s all worth it, and that you’ll
never look back. You realize that your body will change. Again, it’s worth it.
However, what you don’t realize about your body is that it won’t change back as
easily. Add a crazy level of prenatal and postpartum hormones that are
completely individualized and can last for months after delivery. Whew. Hello
change.
Never have I ever struggled with my weight. Until now. Not
just my weight, people… My face is breaking out, eczema is flaring up, and now
when I sneeze….I should be crossing my legs (if you know what I mean.) This, my
friends, is motherhood in the raw. This is what is leftover once you have your
beautiful, bouncing baby! Honestly, I thought I’d bounce back in time. Fast
forward through a lot of weeks and….nope. In fact, I initially lost weight, and
then gained again. Don’t get me wrong. Like I said initially, it is completely
worth it. Still, there is something that will break your heart when you’re
looking in the mirror at 3, 5, 8, 9 (eek!) months later…and you still haven’t
lost all the weight.
Then, the comparing comes
in. Facebook is an awesome way to keep up with friends and family. I am
able to introduce my daughter to many friends who might not meet her otherwise.
Others can watch her grow and develop, and for this networking, I am extremely
grateful. Facebook, however, is the WORST idea when you’re insecure about
ANYTHING. Everyone on facebook loves posting all their good pictures, good
stories, wins, promotions, etc. You get the picture. No one ever posts, “Hey
guys…feelin’ chubby today. Don’t have a thing in my closet. Peace out.” No one
ever posts, “Hey guys. Got dumped today. Gonna keep on truckin’!” It just doesn’t
work that way. So, why do we feel the need to compare ourselves with those who
aren’t really showing themselves as they really are? They’re not showing us the
good, the bad, the ugly. They’re showing us what they WANT us to see. Big
difference—big problem.
Then, here comes the
advice. Disclaimer: To those who’ve encouraged from the heart or not said a
word when you could have (wink, wink)… Thank you. To those of you who know it
all…congratulations. Let me know how that turns out for you down the road. I
mean, come on, y’all. There is a time where advice should be kept to yourself.
I’ve heard it all.
“You should cut out meat.”
“You should eat meat.”
“You should run.”
“Nursing is the best weight loss.” (I had to stop nursing
Josie after several months due to medical issues. This is kind of a sore spot
with me to say the least.)
“You should do hot yoga!” (Haven’t heard that one, but I am
all about some hot yoga)
“You should pay a sitter and go workout.”
“You should go to the gym right after school after you’ve
been away from Josie all day and get home around 5 and just spend 2 hours with
her that day.” (nope!)
“If Josie were more active, you’d be skinnier because you’d
be chasing her.”
“You should have another baby?” (Say what???)
“You should pay $ and sign up for this program, because it’s
the best there is. It worked for me.”
“You should listen to me, because I have been in your exact
situation with your exact life and your exact strengths and weaknesses, and
this is what I did…” (Wait a sec, that’s right. No one has ever said that….or
been able to.)
Recently, I had a close friend ask me for advice about her
baby registry. I was thrilled when she asked me, but I made the disclaimer
immediately,
“I can only tell you
what has worked for me. It may not work for you, and it may not even work for
anyone else.”
Two conditions should be present for advice:
- It’s solicited. (Am I guilty of breaking this rule….umm, yes.)
- You make the above disclaimer each time.
Don’t get me wrong y’all. I know you’re just trying to help,
but some people haven’t learned an important word…
Tact (a keen sense
of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid
offense)
In life, you can do two things when you’re confronted with
situations that stink. You can dwell in them, on them, and everywhere around
them. Or, you can learn something and move on. I have to choose to move on. God
wouldn’t want me wasting my time checking out my skinny mama friends on facebook
(or non-mamas…). He wouldn’t want me crying to my mama about it or looking back
at pre-baby pics. He’d want me to find Him in this. What is he teaching me?
- My identity is solely found in Jesus Christ.
God doesn’t care about my looks, and He only cares about my body in how
I use it to honor Him. I choose only to concern myself with being attractive
for my husband and no other man, woman, or facebook entourage. I will choose to
make healthy decisions for my life because they honor God, and they will keep
my body strong to take care of my husband, child, and serve in my church and community.
- I need to practice self-discipline.
From biting my tongue during painful advice to driving past Sonic’s ½ off
during the summer milkshakes…I’ve had to rely on God for self-discipline. He is
teaching me so much.
Ok, that’s it. This wasn’t meant
to be a rant, please know that. I truly hope this post will only help those who
identify with the same feelings or encourage others to think about those who
may. Until next time…cause, it’s time to work out ;-)
