I have a bacteria problem.

Before you flip out and call DHEC to come haul me into isolation... hear me out. After years (literally, it's been years) of wondering what in the world is going on with me, I think I know. I think I have a bacteria problem. Now, this isn't a contagious issue. I have an imbalance of good and bad bacteria in my "gut" and an overgrowth of one type of bacteria that causes all sorts of issues. My main issues began five years ago, when I was about to marry Andrew. Perfect timing, right? I love you, let's get married, and oh yeah--here's to in sickness or in health...but mainly sickness. Granted, I haven't been admitted to the hospital, or had surgeries, or tried any experimental drugs, but man...my health has been slowly declining over these years. I haven't realized the total effect of this until this year. Having Josie only exacerbated my symptoms. So, here I am with a two year old, a great husband, and I'm too tired, too achy, too self-conscious (more on this later), and too brain fried to enjoy it. I've come to a breaking point, and a decision has been made. I'm "done," as we say in the south. Why am I blogging about this like Julie and Julia (if you don't know what this means, sorry for the reference)?? Well, accountability is what I need. The food plan and detox aspects of this next couple of months will be pretty difficult for me, and I'm pretty nervous about it. I figured that if anyone (literally, any ONE of you) was reading these posts to keep up with my progress, I just can't let you down. No, I won't be posting measurements or belly pics, because let's face it, y'all don't wanna see my belly. I've never had one to be proud of, and that's not even the goal of this whole operation. Sure, if I get rid of this issue, I'm bound to lose some weight, but my main goal is to be 100% to take care of my sweet family and fulfill God's calling on my life as a wife, mama, nurse, pastor's wife, daughter, sister, aunt, etc. You get the picture, right?

I'm going to spare you my paraphrased research and all that jazz. If you want to search for candida overgrowth, then have at it. You'll find a pretty accurate list (minus a few) of my symptoms. You'll also find a lot of different "treatments" out there. Here are the basics of the next few weeks of my life and how I'm tackling this beast.

1. The first week of this "plan" will require a detox phase. Wait...hold the phone..yep, I said detox. I'm not too psyched about this at all. I basically can eat veggies, two eggs per day, and drink a detox drink that's super yummy.... ;-) It's water, cayenne pepper, lemon juice, and apple cider vinegar.
2. After the first seven days, if I'm still breathing, I can add other foods back in (including some beloved meat!)
3. I'll do my best to keep this thing updated, but I have a feeling that the temporary lack of carbs is going to affect my brain pretty (well, very) badly.
4. Please call my husband if you see me at chick-fil-a or staring at the donuts at the harris teeter bakery (2 for $1....what???)....seriously though, call him. Cause it could happen.
5. At the end of a couple of months, I should see a notable difference in my health and improvement in the symptoms that have gotten progressively worse the past few years.
6. Please don't worry about Andrew and Josie, as they won't be participating in this. Andrew literally said he'd die if I made him.
7. All joking aside--As daunting as this seems, I'm very excited about it. I also know these will be dreadfully hard weeks for me. They will require a lot of planning and self-discipline on my part. I think I'll learn a lot, too! I'll try to post what I'm eating, drinking, and how it's going on a regular basis, with the hopes that it helps the accountability aspect of this whole operation.


So, welcome aboard this crazy train....it's pulling out of the station.